Will and Kate break from tradition
It’s a bold decision for any groom to make, royal or no. Even Will’s father, Charles, wears a wedding band beneath his signet ring. But according to insiders, he has Kate's blessing. And after 10 years together, some decisions are best made by the couple, not the public.
Ever since their engagement, Will and Kate have held tight reins on their wedding planning. “They are very much in charge and giving us in the Household Office firm direction on all aspects,” Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, William’s private secretary reveals to Vanity Fair. Unlike Charles' and Diana's royally micro-managed ceremony, Kate and Will are making sure their personal thumbprints are on their big day. Already, their plans for a finger food buffet, charitable donations in lieu of gifts, and emailed save the dates are departures from old-school formalities. Even the bride’s traditional chariot ride to the church has been eschewed in favor of a more private limo ride. The message respectful but firm: It’s their wedding and they want to have fun.
In that way, Will and Kate aren't so different from the average American bride and groom. “People are just less bound by tradition now,” says Jessica Grose, managing editor of Slate’s women’s site Double XX. “They can pick and choose what parts of marriage's trappings they want to observe or not observe.”
Like the royals, more couples are getting married at an older age, so they’re not as reliant on their family for funding or etiquette guidelines. A higher percentage of couples are also co-habitating before their wedding day, so they’re used to making major decisions together that cater to their personal tastes.
That flexibility doesn’t just come down to wedding choices, but marital decisions as well. "Some people are choosing if they should take their husband's name, or if they even want to have a wedding," says Grose, whose Home Economics column tracks the changing face of marital finance plans. When she married last year, after living with her partner for four years, Grose realized her parent's approach to joint bank accounts just didn’t seem to apply to her more modern lifestyle, so she and her husband developed a modified version of the traditional joint account.
"People just have more flexibility to make their own choices as they get older," she says. "You're not going to have this princess fantasy when you're thirty and living together for four years—even if you're Kate Middleton."
As the princess fantasy fades with age, so does the Bridezilla nightmare. Cupcakes, finger food and DIY wedding favors may have all become trends during the recession, but they've stayed strong as couples look to put more whimsical and personalized touches to their big day.
Grooms are also getting more say in the wedding planning process. One of this year’s biggest trends is "wedding man caves." “Blackjack tables, brandy bars, PlayStations and stogies,” writes The Knot’s Carla Roney. “The man cave has officially moved from the home to the wedding.”
But don’t expect Will's no-wedding-band trend to catch on. "One of the main reasons people even wear rings is to signal that they're taken," writes The Stir's Marissa Brown. "Besides being a signal to others, I really think it serves as a warm-and-fuzzy and important visual reminder to the couple themselves."
“William doesn't need to wear a ring because everyone in the world knows he’s taken,” says Grose, “but I can’t imagine too many women being okay with their husbands trying the same thing.”
